Grannies Looking for Men, and How Granny Dating Really Works

Granny dating is simply dating between older women and younger men, usually with the woman in her fifties, sixties or older and the man anywhere from his twenties upwards. The word granny is used with affection here, and many of the women use it about themselves with a wink. It is not about age for its own sake. It is about a particular kind of attraction: confident women who know what they want, and younger men who find that confidence hard to resist.

Some granny dates are a drink and a laugh that turns into something more. Some are long weekends away. Some become regular arrangements that run for months. The common thread is that both people chose it, both people want it, and nobody is pretending it is something else.

Ask a granny looking for men why she prefers younger ones and you will hear the same few answers. Men her own age can be set in their ways, slow to flirt and quick to assume she has retired from all that. Younger men tend to be curious, keen and genuinely flattered by her attention. They also tend to have rather more stamina, which nobody here is complaining about.

There is a practical side as well. Many single grannies have reached a point in life where they have time, privacy and the confidence to enjoy both. They are not hunting for a husband. They want company, attention and some excitement, on their own terms, with a man who is pleased to give it.

Granny singles on the site are as varied as the men who want them. There are recently single women dipping a toe back in after years away, women who have dated younger men for as long as they can remember, and grannies looking for love as well as fun, who would happily see where a good connection leads. Profiles usually make it clear which camp a woman is in, so read them properly before you write.

What almost all of them share is directness. If a profile says she wants a younger man who can make her laugh and is in no hurry, that is exactly what she means. If it says she wants something more physical, she means that too.

Learning to date a granny is not complicated, but it is different. She has been chatted up by experts and bored stiff by amateurs, so the men who get anywhere are the ones who sound like themselves. Be confident without being crude, because a woman who wanted crude would have said so, and very often she will say so later.

And it does get warm. A granny looking for men on this site is not looking for a pen pal. Once she has decided she likes you, the messages change tone, the questions get more personal and the suggestions get bolder. She knows how she likes things done, from where you meet to how quickly the evening moves, and the men who enjoy being steered, rather than panicking about it, are the ones she invites round again.

First dates are usually simple: a drink somewhere relaxed, close to one of you, at a time that suits you both. Keep it light, ask her about herself and let the conversation do the work. If the spark is there you will both feel it, and the women on the site have no trouble suggesting what happens next.

If you would rather get to know someone before you meet, many members enjoy chatting with grannies online first. A few evenings of flirty messages is often the best warm-up there is, and it means you walk into the first date already knowing you get on.

On the night, arrive a little early, put your phone away and give her the kind of attention she has been missing. She will notice. Do not oversell yourself; she has met plenty of men who talked a good game, and she would much rather have one who is relaxed and plainly enjoying her company. If the evening goes well, she will usually be the one to say so, often with a hand on your arm and a question about whether you are in any hurry to get home.

Your profile is the first thing she sees, so make it count. Use a recent photo where your face is clear and you look like you are enjoying yourself. Write a few honest lines about who you are, what you do for fun and what you are hoping to find. A sense of humour helps enormously; a list of demands does not.

Be clear that you are interested in older women, because that is the whole point of being here and the women want to know you mean it. Mention the age range you are drawn to if you like, and say whether you are after something regular or more casual. A granny looking for men reads dozens of profiles, and the ones that sound like a real, likeable person are the ones that get a reply.

Ask the women and they describe the same moment. A message arrives that is clearly from a man who read her profile, not one firing the same line at everyone. It is a little bit flirtatious, a little bit funny and it asks her something she enjoys answering. She replies. He replies faster.

By the third evening of messages she knows he works shifts, hates coriander and has a weakness for women who tell him what to do. She tells him what to do: Saturday, eight o'clock, a wine bar she likes. He turns up early, in a decent shirt, and looks genuinely pleased to see her. That is usually the moment she decides how the evening will end, and she rarely changes her mind. Granny dating works because she gets to decide, and the right younger man is delighted to let her.

Not every older woman calls herself a granny, and not every man searching for one means quite the same thing. Some prefer the glamour of dating a gilf, some like a woman with a mischievous streak, and some simply want an older woman who knows her own mind. They all find each other here, because the site is built around the attraction rather than the label.